Sunday, July 21, 2013

I did it.... I finally MORTIFIED my child

   Don't lie, as a parent it is a goal to one day finally embarrass the shit out of your kids. It means that they are growing up and you are no longer the center of their universe....It's a good thing. Last night it happened, and it happened sooooo good that the boy still isn't talking to me.
   The anniversary of the day he wrecked my vag is tomorrow, and he really, really wanted me to take him to a baseball game. I hate baseball, but I loves me some boy so I agreed to go. So we get there and not only do I have to sit through a fucking baseball game, but it was Star Wars night. Star. Wars. Night! I definitely hate me some Star Wars way more than I hate baseball.
   I am trying to take this new approach on life and shit and make the best of things so this is what happened.......

Yes, I did it. I saved our souls from some Star Wars freak who totally wanted to kill us, I could see it in his freaky deaky eyes. Then a cat with a giant head wearing a shirt tried to eat me so I had to kick his ass too. What kind of cat wears a shirt anyway? Have you ever tried to put a shirt in a cat? Cats don't like shirts, so that thing was a freak of nature and needed to die by light saber. All that hero bravery killing shit made me hungry and by the time I found that pig I was starving so I had to I eat him. And then, I mean come on..... After killings and fresh pig eating who wouldn't want to hump a Storm Trooper?
It was AWESOME!!!! The boy actually apologized to randoms for my behavior.


  1. Replies
    1. See... I told you to come with me!!!! Ha ha ha

  2. YOU are a spork wielding princess! And I LOFF you!